Adeolu Morawo
Key points
If someone has both influence over you and the authority to grant or deny you what you seek, such a person is a gatekeeper.
The key to getting past the opposition mounted by a gatekeeper is to skillfully negotiate with them.
Solid self-promotion (SSP) is your key to successfully negotiating with a gatekeeper.
Solid self-promotion (SSP) involves living a solid life by preparing broadly, and then giving a targeted summary to the gatekeeper to show why you must pass through.
Introduction
Have you ever faced a situation where someone you admire and respect and who holds power over you tries to stop you from pursuing your God-given destiny? How do you get past such a person? How do you negotiate with a gatekeeper who holds the key to your breakthrough?
In this blog post, I want to share with you some insights from the story of David and Saul in the Bible.
David was a teenage shepherd boy who was anointed by God to be the next king of Israel. Saul was the current king of Israel leading the army of Israel into battle as they are challenged by a giant, Goliath, into single combat to the death. David wanted to confront this giant on behalf of Israel, but Saul was objecting on the grounds that David was young and unproven to him. It turns out that this would be the defining battle of David’s life and he was about to be stopped by someone who had both influence and authority over him.
Here we will discuss how David successfully got past Saul and how we can apply the same lessons to our lives today.
Saul replied, “You are not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him; you are only a young man, and he has been a warrior from his youth.” But David said to Saul, “Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.” Saul said to David, “Go, and the Lord be with you.”
1 Samuel 17:33-37 (New International Version)
The Challenge of Facing a Saul
Think about someone you admire for all their attributes; someone you want to be like when you grow up. You look at them with awe and admiration and this makes them an influence in your life. Now think about this person being the president of your country. Their influence on you has just soared. But that is not all. Despite you being a lowly peasant, they have taken note of you and like you personally. How tremendous is their influence now! You probably want to be in their good books and will show them great deference. To buck the loving persuasion of such a figure would not be an easy undertaking.
It is often challenging to say 'no' to those who love us because we don't want to offend them and we also believe they are after our interest. Saul, an enemy of David's destiny, appeared as a friend. This devious camouflage is a potent weapon in our enemy's hands.
But Saul was more than that. Saul had both an influence on David and the authority to grant or deny him access to fighting Goliath. Saul was thus a gatekeeper.
A gatekeeper is someone who has the power or position to allow or deny you access to something you want or need. A gatekeeper can be a boss, a teacher, a parent, a friend, or even yourself. A gatekeeper can be helpful or harmful, depending on their motives and actions.
The Art of Negotiating with a Gatekeeper
Saul presented a completely different type of challenge to David compared to Eliab. Eliab was David's older brother who mocked and discouraged him from fighting Goliath. Eliab was a distractor, someone who tries to divert your attention or energy from your goal. David wisely refused to engage with Eliab and simply bypassed him. That strategy would however not be workable with Saul. David had to negotiate with Saul so he could confront Goliath.
How did David negotiate with Saul? Here are some principles we can learn from his example:
Know what you want and why you want it
David knew what he wanted: he wanted to fight Goliath and defend the honor of God and Israel. He also knew why he wanted it: he had faith in God's power and promises, and he had a passion for God's glory. He was not motivated by pride, fear, or greed.
Knowing what you want and why you want it gives you clarity and confidence in your negotiation. It helps you communicate your value proposition and your motivation to the gatekeeper. It also helps you avoid distractions and temptations that may derail you from your purpose.
Be respectful but assertive
David was respectful but assertive when he spoke to Saul. He did not insult or rebel against Saul, but he also did not give up on his goal. He addressed Saul as "my lord the king" (1 Samuel 17:32), but he also challenged Saul's doubts and objections (1 Samuel 17:33-37). He honored Saul's authority, but he also appealed to Saul's reason and emotion.
Being respectful but assertive means that you show courtesy and appreciation to the gatekeeper, but you also stand up for yourself and your interests. You do not compromise your integrity or dignity, but you also do not offend or antagonize the gatekeeper. You seek a win-win outcome that benefits both parties.
Be a solid self-promoter (SSP)
Many of us do not like to be shameless self-promoters. Personally, I like my work to speak for me. When David was anointed to be king among his elder brothers, he did not have to advocate for himself in any way. However, some good things would not be offered to us unless we directly ask and show the gatekeeper why we are qualified for them.
Solid self-promotion has 2 parts. First, you must be solid. This requires doing hard and quality work long before the opportunity shows up and often away from the view of others. This is what broad preparation is all about. Second, when the opportunity shows up, be prepared to skillfully trade your experience to obtain it. It requires presenting a convincing targeted summary of your potential to the gatekeeper.
Be prepared and adaptable
David was prepared and adaptable when he faced Saul. He had prepared himself for battle by practicing his skills as a shepherd and trusting God in his previous encounters with lions and bears (1 Samuel 17:34-37). He also adapted himself to the situation by rejecting Saul's armor and weapons, which did not fit him or suit his style (1 Samuel 17:38-39). He chose his own tools, which were simple but effective: a sling and five smooth stones (1 Samuel 17:40).
Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. “I cannot go in these,” he said to Saul, “because I am not used to them.” So he took them off. Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine.
1 Sam 17:38-40 (New International Version)
Being prepared and adaptable means that you have done your homework and you have a plan, but you are also ready to improvise and adjust to changing circumstances. You do not rely on your own strength or wisdom, but you also do not depend on someone else's resources or methods. You use what works for you, which may be different from what works for others.
Conclusion
We all face Sauls in our lives, gatekeepers who try to stop us from pursuing our God-given destiny. We need to learn how to negotiate with them so we can overcome them and achieve our goals. We need to know what we want and why we want it, be respectful but assertive, and be prepared and adaptable. By doing so, we can experience God's power and presence in our lives and make a positive impact in the world.